Dad
by JaneyKatherineHummingbird
Summary: An angsty fic where Pike lives-only to see Jim sacrifice himself in the warp core. NO PAIRING. All about that Father/Son-like relationship they had.


"You'd better get down here, Sir, And hurry. It's Jim."

These words spoken by the chief engineer made Christopher Pike's blood run cold. Until a moment ago, his thought had been about how to stop his crippled ship from crashing to earth. Then the terrifying descent had jerked to a stop and the ships thrusters started functioning again. Either the warp core had magically realigned itself or someone had gone in there and done it manually. He couldn't think of any other possible way the damaged Enterprise could have been arrested in her fall.

As soon as Scotty finished speaking, the admiral was unbuckling his restraints and bolting out of the chair in an instant.

"Mr. Spock, you have the conn!" He ordered, without a glance backward. He had a feeling he knew why Scott sounded so somber and he didn't like it. The trek to engineering seemed endless, but after some huffing and puffing and cursing his inability to move faster, he made it to the heart of the Enterprise. It was currently in chaos, with emergency repair work going on to cover the massive hole in the hull and crew running back and forth on urgent errands. He spotted Scotty standing just in front of the door to the small room that led to the core. The man was devastated. Dread rising higher, Chris looked into the chamber and had his fears confirmed: Jim Kirk lay inside, currently vomiting his guts out and looking like death warmed over.

"He was in the Core." It wasn't a question, it was a statement and Scotty nodded miserably.

"Aye. I would've done it, but he was too quick."

"How long until the decontamination's up?" Chris asked grimly, knowing they couldn't get Jim out until the process had finished.

"Eight minutes, give or take?" Scotty answered. "I don't know if he even has that long."

Jim was now slumped against the glass, eyes shut, and gasping with the effort it had required to get himself there. Chris knelt beside the door, ignoring the protest of his knees as he tapped on the glass to get Jim's attention.

Blue eyes fluttered open and Jim managed a smile as he recognized his mentor.

"How's the ship?" He breathed, wincing. He was white as a sheet and sweat ran down his forehead. Chris could only imagine the pain he was in as the Radiation destroyed his body.

"Stable." He managed gruffly. "You: Not so much. I didn't expect you to take me quite so literally when I challenged you."

Jim let out a gurgling laugh that turned into a cough.

"Yeah, well, I live to surprise." He replied. "It was me or the crew. The only way to go."

The cold hard fact of Jim Kirk dying squeezed itself around Chris's mind and he suddenly felt the weight of the sorrow at losing the young man he was so fond of and had invested in for four years. He didn't want to think about a world without Jim in it. The kid was like a son to him and he'd tried his hardest to help him reach his potential, rough as that road had been.

"James," He said seriously. "You did the right thing. I'm sorry it took...this. You should have had a long life ahead of you."

Jim shrugged. "You dared me to do better, after all. Thank you...for believing in me. I know I was a lot...to deal with...Dad."

The use of that word was like twisting the dagger in his heart. That Jim would use that title... that he'd never used for any living man, was incredibly humbling and powerful.

Swallowing the huge lump in his throat, Chris observed Jim's breathing was getting shallower. He didn't have much longer.

"Son, you were always worth the trouble," he said softly. "Don't doubt that. You're heart's always been in the right place. I had every confidence that you'd get the Enterprise back in mere months, if not sooner."

"Well, I guess she's all yours again. Or Spock's." Jim suddenly grimaced and his hand clenched at his side as he fought through another wave of pain. He looked up at Chris with a heartbreaking expression of fear as he seemed to sense the life leaving him.

"I'm scared, Dad," he gasped. "Don't go."

Chris had never felt so helpless in his life, seeing Jim like this. The kid was never scared of anything, now, when death was unavoidable, he was understandably terrified. Shifting his position a little, he pressed his hand against the glass in reassurance.

"I'm not going anywhere, Jim," He said. "It's going to be alright, Son." That was a lie of course, but it seemed to help Jim, whose expression began to ease as he focused on the Admiral.

He rested briefly and gathered his strength to continue.

"Tell Spock to live long and prosper and tell Bones..." Here Jim's face convulsed again, whether with pain or emotion, Chris couldn't tell. "Tell Bones... I'm glad I was privileged to be his friend. He's gonna take this hard..."

"We all will, Jim," Chris reminded him.

Jim apparently couldn't speak any longer, but smiled faintly. Seconds later, when Chris couldn't see any motion from his chest and the bright blue eyes glazed over and stared unseeing past him, he realized Jim was gone and the wave of grief spilled over him. He leaned his head against the glass and shut his eyes, wondering how things had come to this. It was supposed to be a simple mission to take out a terrorist and instead it ended in treachery, sabotage and his bright young protege sacrificing his life. He was torn between intense pride and intense pain. Forcing himself to his feet, he looked at Jim one last time then turned to Scotty.

"Get him out of there," he ordered in a deadly calm tone. "I'm not going to rest until we have Khan Noonien Singh, dead or alive."

"Yes, Sir," Scotty replied in a huskier tone than normal and moved to the door to type in the opening code. Chris turned and stalked away, ready to deliver a beat down, the sight of Jim's dead body etched in his brain.


End file.
